December 2, 2016
in the folds of your summer dress
with the forgotten early morning dreams
in your childhood scars
that bare witness to stolen fruits
and stolen hearts.
I'm running out of time
and trying to run from it
what a beautiful paradox
to find myself caught in
like a scratched disk
stuck in the same loop
with no one coming to pull the plug.
I've went trough all the stages of grief
I've denied, pleaded, cursed
cried, yelled and accepted
all that my heart could bear
still, it isn't enough
so here I am pleading once more
I know this winter does your bidding
so what is it to you if I get lost in the blizzard?
just one more soul added
to the wander and lost list
shrug it off
like you would a chill
of an indistinct memory
and hide me.
November 23, 2016
azi luna plină n-o să se arate
pierdută-n falduri gri
de ceață și de noapte
captivă în privirea
ascunsă pe sub pleoape
azi păcătoșii nu primesc lumină
primii aruncă pietre
tot cei mușcați de vină
desprinse din altare
căzute în ruină
azi singuri, de nebuni, ne desenăm hotare
și-apoi clamăm dreptate
ascunși după cortină
luptând să evadăm
din lumi imaginare.
când timpul curge leneș
în ceasuri de rugină
noi măsurăm secunde
în zilele impare.
November 13, 2016
this is not working for me
this living arrangement
to which we both agreed but
somehow ends up
cheating us both out of our happiness.
your brutish way of addressing reproach
is enough to break any smile
even so it pales by comparison
to your sluggish decision process
and don't even get me started
on your randomly erratic behaviour
or your out-of-the-blue finger pointing fits.
I seem to remember
you appreciated honesty when we first met
but I now realize you were never
on the cutting edge of this sword
because truth is defined as such
only when it validates your cause
otherwise it's called rebellion.
and I know I have my shortcomings
(I am imperfectly human
some flaws are to be expected)
I am loud, stubborn and foul mouthed,
I have a short fuse and high standards
and I hold myself up to them every day
when my head hits the pillow,
I push replay and physically cringe
to the stupid shit that I say.
good news though,
I also have the balls to admit all of this
and sometimes I even change for the better
when I need to adapt and commit.
keep that in mind the next time
you're about to ask me for compromise
without owning up to your end of the bid.
last but definitely not least
in this long mismatched flaw list
we can add the difference in views:
looking at empty spaces
I'm seeing angles, poetry and quality of space
and you're measuring square meters.
and that, love
is exactly the reason why
when you add it all up and divide it by us
we're both on the losing side.
September 1, 2016
i know more than i'm supposed to
but not as much as i'd like
and I still have a way to go
in learning to keep my mouth shut
withholding information is a federal crime
and I for one take this shit seriously
orange jumpsuits are not my thing
there's a duality to everything
that challenges your perspective
and ultimately your sanity:
you want to achieve a comfort zone
but you don't want to be there long
because progress doesn't happen there
and so you change
but it's too sudden or way outside the box
and trust me, you don't want that either
because shock and disappointment might happen
so you're left with the goldilocks zone
which for normal mortals like most of us
is as easy to find as the way to Hogwarts
via Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.
growth is relative
pain is relative
frustration is relative
complexity is relative
success bares the same stigma
everything is relative
until it's not...
and that's precisely what eludes us:
the aha moment
when relativity crystallizes into fact.
we see the effects,
we get the clarity
and make our decisions
but we can't replicate it
nor induce it like you would a medical coma.
we're all passive in this relationship
just waiting for life to happen.
May 28, 2016
și-a nopți de vară de mult pierdute
pe-atunci timpul nu fugea așa repede
și orele erau mai colorate,
fericirea se clădea și ea mai ușor
cu sărutări stângace
furate sub cireșii dați în pârg
totul era stângaci pe-atunci
dar parcă râdeam cu toată inima
și ne supăram doar în joacă
așa, ca să ne cumpărăm iertarea
cu guma turbo și dulceață de nuci
May 5, 2016
that full moon out there baby
it's driving me mad
up to the brink of complete destruction
turning my thoughts in
to the dark
into the chaos
and power lies like no other
the world is filled with madness
chaos nibbles at the edges of thought
hoping the speed of the slideshow
will cover the mess
amass all the moments you find
to somehow be left with nothing
not enough time to focus
when life floors it
and people meld together
in a neverending string of flailing hands
desperately reaching for comfort
into the dark
turning my thoughts up
to the brink of complete destruction
baby it's driving me mad
that full moon out there
February 24, 2016
it's simple when you're on the outside
perched up high on a scaffold
the world looks less complicated
and judgment is easier to dispense.
a vantage point and a looking glass
and all of the sudden
patterns emerge from the mundane
neatly drawn like map lines.
things get complicated
when your eyes turn inwards;
thoughts follow without falter
and soon enough clarity is gone
your heart strings are left in knots
and your brain grasps for reason
while the world turns swiftly
into quantum mechanics.
and then you're left there
feet dangling above the abyss
eyes glazed and speech impaired
running a labyrinth of your own making.