too many

how far
can you stretch out your thoughts  until they snap
like rubber bands kept in the scorching sun
how long
can you maintain this smile you have
until the cracks start showing thin and dark
right at the corners of your mouth
then running up into those tired eyes
how hard
is it to keep this mask
when fingernails are scratching at the edges
how many
sleepless nights will you count still
how many of them etched down in your ledger
how much
it takes from you to keep
all of the darkness bottled up
how many graves are there to dig
for all the remnants of your past

down the rabbit hole

can you not feel it?
curiosity nudging you to take a peak,
to search for answers
even behind closed doors...
especially there.

I have this weird thing
when I look at a door:
I can't help but be curious of what's inside.
who lives there?
how is it decorated?
are the rooms flooded with light
or do they hide in the shadow of their curtains?

I think you figured that out about me
and you left your door unlocked on purpose.
you knew I couldn't stand not knowing
what's behind the brick wall
so you left the hallway light on.
all I had to do was follow and sneak inside.
it was the best ride down the rabbit hole
with all those corridors twisting and turning
weaving in and out into endless loops,
wonders hidden behind every corner.
I got lost a couple of times
but I felt so at home that it didn't matter.